Asian mothers are ferociously strict. Thanks to the internet, a website solely dedicated to hatching plots for maximum torture (er.. that is, success) in raising children now exists. It’s the constantly updated, Asian-mother version of the Bible.
My mother, like a myriad of other Chinawomen, constantly sends me links to this website. These links include pages like “12 Year Old Wang Hu Makes a 36 On His ACT” or “My Kid Just Got A Full Scholarship to Harvard- And All He Did Was Get A Perfect SAT Score and Perform At Carnegie Hall!”
When I got yet another dreaded link, I ignored it- as usual. However, when my mother remarked, “Aren’t you lucky I let you use the bathroom?” I figured an article that mentioned fantastic contraptions like toilets was worth my time.
…The article changed everything. Suddenly, I understood why I was "never allowed to be in a school play" (Chua, par. 1), why my test scores were so inadequate, and most importantly, why I lacked the ability to do a push-up.
On Facebook, I saw that my Asian friends from the national chess championship had also received the article from their mothers. (See? It’s a conspiracy.) I’m not the only one with mantras like “Doing your best is not fun- Winning is fun” and “Everyone else has brilliant children- Why am I stuck with you?” drilled into my head since birth. And it made me realize that negativity is the best thing for children. Who really cares if you’re trying your best if you suck?
I now feel like my parents are overly nice. What were they thinking, letting me participate in a sixth-grade production of “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”? There are kids out there doing logarithms and programming calculators, and I’m here checking my Twitter.
I’m making up for lost time by taping “YOU SUCK” posters on my wall. The clock’s ticking, and when the genius Asian generation takes over the world, chances are I’m not going to make the cut.
Works Cited
Chua, Amy. "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior." Wall Street Journal 08 Jan 2011: n.p. Web. 17 Feb 2011.
lol if you don't make the cut then I am screwed!
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